How to Murder Your Wife on Your 15th Try: Survive Style 5+

It's so fucking hot at work because the air conditioning is broken and the second floor of the library is basically made of goddamned windows. My brain is melting and my back is slippery like an otter's! So maybe that's why I can't remember anything about Team Club's meeting last week, or maybe it's actually because it was a week ago. Also, I was pretty crazy and withdrawn at our last meeting because I had just quit smoking and was compulsively sucking on these little individually-wrapped lifesaver thingies. Anyhow, nothing much registered with me that night except the following:

1. There was a lot of cigarette-smoking in Survive Style 5+.
2. I thought the advertising chick was funny. I don't mean that her commercials were funny (although some were). I just mean that I thought it was funny and cute and endearing that she kept cracking herself up. No one agrees with me.
3. That guy from Eurotrip who plays football for Manchester was annoying.
4. Undead wife was hot. The male members of The Club would like to have sexual intercourse with her. I'm just jealous of her hair.
5. The soundtrack made me want to slice my ears off.
6. We unanimously enjoyed Bird Dad, though not necessarily his heroism.
7. I really loved the set designs, but forgot to mention it.

I remember some other things too, like how DG said that he downloaded this movie by mistake and that the subtitles were a bitch to synch up. He also said that when he first watched it he felt "the full range of human emotions, from euphoria to rage." Weirdly, I do not remember a single talking point, BUT I remember that there were talking points and that they were effective at generating debate. Of all Team members, Ron Ron clearly loved this movie the most and defended it valiantly at every turn. DG, Senior Senior and I liked it but not nearly as much as baldy-beardy (Ron Ron who, for the record, cut off all his lovely hair). I remember Senior Senior cleverly (and sadly) observing that the dashing Selector's Costume gradually climbs up the necks of our larger members- a tragic design flaw. He also (falsely/cruelly) accused me of licking my nicotine patch.

I'm saddened by the fact that this crappy post does not effectively convey the joy of the evening. There were snacks! There was friendship! There was much joy! There would have undoubtedly been joy last night too if Ron Ron hadn't ruined it for all of us by choosing his bandmates over his teammates, cancelling the meeting, and hurting our feelings. Shame on you, Ron Ron. Some of us are sensitive, okay?
Two words: THEME JAR. Two more: DREAM QUEST.

Senior Senior picks next week. Let's not forget that he too is suffering punishment by Theme Jar and must select a film with a one-word title. What will it be? My money's on Ghost.