Santi's Quest For Booty Juice

Tito, formerly known as Skeletor, formerly known as DG was a little late getting to Snake Mountain last Tuesday, and he was greeted by a smiling and partially drunk Senior Senior, and a rather serious looking ASD. Nobody seemed to care that Ron Ron was late, and nobody can be blamed for that. Tito quickly eased the tension by regaling his compares with tales of the Hockey Hall of Fame and all the wonders it holds. Then the usual routine kicked off and it was inside to settle once and for all whether ASD can pull off the official garment of Team Club.

After ASD had adjusted her scarf just so, it was clear that this wonderful piece of yellow fabric can't just be worn by any old scrub off the street, but ASD wears it like a champ.

THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE(R) is the story of some old geezer who can't get a boner anymore unless he drinks some nasty juice with mutant babies floating in it. Meanwhile, a bunch of punk children frolic around an old bomb, throw in the wussiest ghost ever and a hot ugly woman with a fake leg and you've got movie magic.

A standout scene was when wee Juventude decided to show how badass he was by fetching a pot of water. After narrowly avoiding a fatal beatdown at the hands of the abusive Spanish version of Joey Jeremiah, young Juventude is shot in the nuts with a rock from a resident slingshot-sniper named Fartles. Fartles is mischievous and about eight years older than the rest of the kids, at first you think he's badass because he smokes, but much like Santi the ghost, he is ultimately proven to be a big pussy who can't swim. Don't let Spanish Joey catch you hanging out by the pool, Fartles, he'll slam your head off a wall.

Easily the best part of the movie was when Old Man Jenkins did a shot of that nasty juice, then looked down at his crotch knowingly. There's a boner a-brewing.

If this movie had contained more scares or sex, it could have been a classic. As it stands, it was a solid exercise in reading comprehension and lead to some fantastic post-film conversation.

Congrats to all members of Team Club, the first round was an overwhelming success. Tonight's meeting has been cancelled by Senior Senior, I look forward to seeing you again for Round 2.



chowzers,
Tito